When we think of the word attractive we think about physical attraction. The media makes us constantly worry about the way we look and that we need to conform to a certain standard of what is classed as ‘beautiful’. Unfortunately, this expectation and worry spills over into our dating lives. We think that we won’t get a date because we don’t fit into todays standard of “pretty”. Everyone’s perception of beauty and what they think is beautiful is different. Your attraction towards someone can grow or diminish once you get to know their personality. Sometimes the person that isn’t conventionally beautiful is the one with a queue of potential suitors. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”,  good looks will eventually fade.

Be confident and believe in yourself
Confidence is key, when you’re a confident person it shows; in the way you speak, the way you dress, the way you walk. You glow from inside out.

Be comfortable in your own skin
You don’t need to slap on layers of makeup with all that contour and highlight blinding everyone every time you step out of the house. Go out with minimal makeup, tie your hair back, embrace your natural beauty and don’t compare yourself to others. However, it’s important to remember that everyone is different and some of you may feel more comfortable with make up than without, in which case you should do what makes you feel confident. After all confidence is key.

Have your own life
It’s important to never lose your independence when you are in a relationship and to keep doing the things that make you happy. Just because you have a partner doesn’t mean that you stop doing all the cool, fun and adventurous things you used to do before with your friends and family. He doesn’t need to be a part of every aspect of your life. When he calls to make plans and you’re busy, don’t cancel your plans, tell him you’re busy that day but can do the following day. It’ll show him that you have things pre planned and if he wants to spend time with you he will need to be organised. Guys love when women aren’t easy to get and being busy is always a great way to be hard to get.

Healthy & Intelligent
No, this doesn’t just mean #gymgains and #mealprep. You don’t need to be skinny or a gym buff to be healthy. It’s important to stay active and to get yourself to the gym for a workout or a spin class, but it’s also about having a positive, healthy mind set. Intelligence is always attractive, whether it’s in a specific aspect of your life that you excel in or just general interesting topics/hobbies you are interested in. Good conversation is always sexy, being able to talk about things you are mutually interested is always attractive.

Speak your mind!
No one wants to be with someone that’s constantly going to agree with everything they say. It’s important to have your own opinion and have your say in conversations. It shows independence and confidence which is at the top of the list of things that men find attractive.

Respect yourself
The way you treat yourself, shows how you allow others to treat you. If you try to get a guy’s attention without having respect for yourself, he’ll think he can walk all over you. Hold your honour and dignity high, stand up for what you believe in and what is important to you. Be the woman worth that respect, and don’t devalue yourself just to get a guy to like you.

So, rather than objective beauty, we need it to be perceived beauty where people will see us for who we are as an overall package, personality, features, a unique package that cannot be replicated. We aren’t just attractive because of how we became who we are, we are attractive because of who we are. So get out there, laugh lots, be silly, honest, caring, genuine, respectful, have a positive attitude, enjoy each other’s company, embrace your inner beauty, all your flaws and get those sparks flying!

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh